The Sticky, Sexy, Sad Sides of Treena Orchard.

Love, relationships and sexuality. We all want to feel a part of these fundamental things – they’re part of being human and worth protecting. 

One of my newest adventures is a memoir based on my five months using the ‘feminist’ dating app called Bumble.

This project, affectionately named Sticky, Sexy, Sad, marks my entry into digital feminism and public scholarship. I want to engage in local and global discussions about love, intimacy, and how to find meaningful connection in our digital age.

My writing about Bumble began as a therapeutic endeavour, a place to record the bizarre, fascinating, and sometimes sad things I observed and experienced. However, it soon grew into something special; a record of my journey into not just dating apps, but also myself as a woman moving through a significant therapeutic journey.

As I began to share my account with others, I realized that what I was saying is similar to what so many other people experience. It was then that I decided that the Bumble project would be a personal story that doubled as a work of public scholarship.

I’ve always admired researchers who use their power as a means to say things that others cannot and to highlight how we are interrelated through structures of inequity, along with the fundamental frailties and beauties of being human.

Tik, tik, tik – a tally of my matches in the early days of exploring the sometimes unsweet hive

Being vulnerable is central to this task and it’s something I do in my Bumble project and beyond. My students, colleagues, family members, and new people in my social circles often say that’s what they connect with most strongly- my willingness to lay it down as it is or to ‘play it as it lays’ (to quote Joan Didion).

Consider Sticky, Sexy, Sad as my comedic yet critical advocacy against the breakdown of human relationships, inequitable gender relations and confusing socio-sexual behaviours, which are threatening our ability to love others and connect with ourselves.

I invite you to laugh, think, and question with me as I explore the nuances of digital dating and how it’s impacting love, intimacy, and how we relate to one another as sexual and social beings.

Read snippets of my Sticky. Sexy. Sad adventures now, and lend your voice to the conversation about conserving and celebrating love in its many forms, sex too, but most of all our relationships with one another.

I was reading through your blog this weekend and during reading week and I love it! Laughed and related so hard at the accuracy of your experiences with dating apps – the post about the guys and their fish pics killed me 😂 Also, your writing style in “The Looking Glass: Reflecting on Relationships” had me emotional.. it was so poetic to me. Subscribed, obviously…

One of my students’ responses to Sticky, Sexy, Sad

Read more about Digital Sexuality & Memoir.