In case you missed it

We all have our morning routines, right? Mine usually begins with pretending to be asleep while Elliott, my lovable and domineering orange Tabby cat, patrols the parameters of my bed. I lay motionless while she does her rounds and then hops on the bed, heading straight for my face. There are incredibly urgent things that…

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We love you Michelle, but dating is more than monogamy & marriage

It feels sacrilegious to disagree with the former First Lady, but her recent comments about Tinder demand some teatime. On the September 6th episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast with guest Conan O’Brien, she said: “you can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship.” The dating app dis prompted hundreds of people to post their Tinder success…

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Why should I perform your erotic capital?

The responses to my public writings about dating have been very varied. I’ve had lovely emails, article comments, and DMs from women and men who support and relate to my experiences about sexuality, gender and digital life more broadly. The trolls, incels, and conservatives who ‘believe in equal rights, just not feminism’ have also crawled…

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The electric moon

And then her head explodedInto a slithering coil of eels Charged hot and nervousWith mislaid energyAmid the viral pause of the planet The old order tumbles out of her bodyIn layers of opaque feelingsPlants push throughBuds taste the grey airYet she cannot grow Why has she come undone?No cough, no one in the hospitalJust the…

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Top Types of Bumble Men: Nice Men who Travel…and More

I’ve written and thought a lot about the men I met and observed while scrolling through the Bumbleverse. Men choose a staggeringly diverse array of images, in terms of number, quality, and content. But, a few key types emerged, including the “Chill Adventurer” that I discussed a few blogs ago. Here, I want to share…

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Putting the “D” in app dating

MUCH has been written about the dick pic as a harmless rite of passage for sexually active young adults and an often-unflattering mode of sexual communication used by men to the dismay of most women on the receiving end. Indeed, a culture of resistance to the dick pic has emerged over the past few years,…

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Bumble Basics: Retrospective Reflection from An Anthropologist

I spent five months inside the Bumble hive and write about these torrid experiences from the perspective of an anthropologist who studies sexuality and a woman trying to date. I found the Bumbleverse a tough place to break into in a meaningful way. The preference for messages over meeting was one of the perplexing observations…

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The puzzling case of men’s online dating profiles

Wild, wonderful and absolutely bizarre – that’s how my book begins its explanation of the profiles I encountered during my five months on Bumble. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but trying to figure out what my male counterparts’ pictures were portraying was more difficult than locating non-abstract facial features in a Picasso.…

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