Emerald

We are drawn to the things we need, so goes the gemstone lore. If courage and protection are required, reach for tiger’s eye. Tapping into calming feminine energies that also ignite your intuition can be accomplished with the blue marble beauty of rainbow moonstone. Emerald recently spoke to me from inside a homespun store full…

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Why should I perform your erotic capital?

The responses to my public writings about dating have been very varied. I’ve had lovely emails, article comments, and DMs from women and men who support and relate to my experiences about sexuality, gender and digital life more broadly. The trolls, incels, and conservatives who ‘believe in equal rights, just not feminism’ have also crawled…

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My Mother’s Jacket

Moving is fundamentally about deciding which material items stay and which go. Some of my decisions in this regard echo Marie Kondo’s joyful approach to “tidying up” in the sense that I actively engage in a dialogue about what my stuff means to me. Such discussions do not involve the items easily tossed into the…

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The electric moon

And then her head explodedInto a slithering coil of eels Charged hot and nervousWith mislaid energyAmid the viral pause of the planet The old order tumbles out of her bodyIn layers of opaque feelingsPlants push throughBuds taste the grey airYet she cannot grow Why has she come undone?No cough, no one in the hospitalJust the…

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Dueling Narratives: Restitution, Chaos & …

My mind whirs less and attaches itself to familiar things. Work is finally possible, previously purchased food is eaten, and love still flows. This slowing down has been tempered, however, by another feeling that has surfaced: guilt. In unprecedented times, letting my guard down signals danger to the ancient flight-fight response system that streams through…

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Welcome into my humble abode – and body, Mr. Bumble.  

When I signed up for Bumble, I assumed my first date would look a little more like a fun and flirty modern Rom Com and less like the “dead-man walking” wander towards my door that I was on. Alas, on- or offline, not every date is a smashing success and not every sexual encounter needs…

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When I got the short end of the stick(y)

Last time we left off with my first personal foray into the (sometimes) wonderful world of Bumble. I believe my last few rambling sentences hinted at the potentially titillating situation I found myself in when I discovered my first Bumble meet-up was as interested in men as he was the digital version of me and…

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Bumble Basics: Retrospective Reflection from An Anthropologist

I spent five months inside the Bumble hive and write about these torrid experiences from the perspective of an anthropologist who studies sexuality and a woman trying to date. I found the Bumbleverse a tough place to break into in a meaningful way. The preference for messages over meeting was one of the perplexing observations…

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