We love you Michelle, but dating is more than monogamy & marriage

It feels sacrilegious to disagree with the former First Lady, but her recent comments about Tinder demand some teatime. On the September 6th episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast with guest Conan O’Brien, she said: “you can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship.” The dating app dis prompted hundreds of people to post their Tinder success…

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Emerald

We are drawn to the things we need, so goes the gemstone lore. If courage and protection are required, reach for tiger’s eye. Tapping into calming feminine energies that also ignite your intuition can be accomplished with the blue marble beauty of rainbow moonstone. Emerald recently spoke to me from inside a homespun store full…

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Things are wild

Yesterday was full all kinds of love that stretched across my divergent relationships. There was eros in the morning and sprinkled throughout the day, mediated by voice and letters strung across small screens. There was friendship love, too. It felt grounding and made me smile with much gratitude. Primal love of the kind that streams…

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Why should I perform your erotic capital?

The responses to my public writings about dating have been very varied. I’ve had lovely emails, article comments, and DMs from women and men who support and relate to my experiences about sexuality, gender and digital life more broadly. The trolls, incels, and conservatives who ‘believe in equal rights, just not feminism’ have also crawled…

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Toad Totem

Since Elliott’s harness arrived two weeks ago we have been enjoying daily jaunts outside. The first jaunt begins around 6-6.30 am, which I affectionately call “Morning Glory.” But prior to putting the pink flamingo straps around her neck and under her arms, there is much preparation. It’s amazing to see how intent she is to…

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Designing Calm During Covid-19

While clipping my fingernails in the bathroom sink a couple of days ago, I heard my neighbour across the hallway blow-drying her hair. For over a decade, I have listened to this sound almost every day. Yet, it struck me as something profoundly different that morning. It ceased being the white noise of apartment living…

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My Mother’s Jacket

Moving is fundamentally about deciding which material items stay and which go. Some of my decisions in this regard echo Marie Kondo’s joyful approach to “tidying up” in the sense that I actively engage in a dialogue about what my stuff means to me. Such discussions do not involve the items easily tossed into the…

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Graduation

‘Tis the season of scholastic celebration. Images of young women in generic capes holding flowers and little kids saying goodbye on their final class zoom call are flooding the socials. It’s much rarer to see pictures of young men in their cap and gowns, which is interesting. I graduated high school in 1990, when acid…

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When I got the short end of the stick(y)

Last time we left off with my first personal foray into the (sometimes) wonderful world of Bumble. I believe my last few rambling sentences hinted at the potentially titillating situation I found myself in when I discovered my first Bumble meet-up was as interested in men as he was the digital version of me and…

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In the Eye of The Feminist Shitstorm

The first article about my Bumble experiences was published in The Conversation on July 28th (https://theconversation.com/love-lust-and-digital-dating-men-on-the-bumble-dating-app-arent-ready-for-the-queen-bee-120796), and whaaaat a nerve it has struck!! I knew it would ruffle a few feathers but didn’t think so many rufflestiltskins would reveal so much anger. About what, you ask? Not dating apps, which was the focus of the…

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