I’ve written and thought a lot about the men I met and observed while scrolling through the Bumbleverse. Men choose a staggeringly diverse array of images, in terms of number, quality, and content. But, a few key types emerged, including the “Chill Adventurer” that I discussed a few blogs ago. Here, I want to share some of the other types or themes that made my top 20 list.
Before I get into the list, I’ll let you in on how I’m trying to make sense of what these images tell us about men and how they present themselves. Like I said, a lot of the pictures were quite bizarre and many were downright unflattering, which seemed to contradict the purpose of being on a dating app…to look semi-hot and/or get the attention of your paramour to bee.
They might serve another purpose, these zany visuals, that is linked with Bumble’s design. On this app guys have to wait until women select them, which was frustrating to many male users. This was often reflected in their profiles or conversations: “Why doesn’t someone say hi?”; “HELLO OUT THERE”; “Don’t start a conversation you’re not going to finish.”
This impatience and discomfort may make some men choose weird photos to stand out to women and from their competition. This behaviour is seen in other avenues of the animal kingdom, where male animals and insects alike display themselves in wildly attractive ways as they compete amongst one another with the hopes of being selected by the females.
What do the Images Reveal?
But the variety of men, oh my! As my yoga teacher said upon viewing the pictures I would often be screaming about while entering the studio: “Oh, the humanity.” Some come spicily close to some of the ones I’ve seen on Grindr: men in cowboy boots and a cutsie pose; the hillbilly guy in a wifebeater leaning playfully into the back of a truck; and men showing off their bodies in ways that border on humiliation (i.e., short-shorts, being sprayed by a hose). These images reveal men who play, engage in risk, and are willing to trade their ‘good looks’ for the bonus points of being picked from among the crowd by the right-swiping maidens in the hive.
Ok, but If I knocked on his door would he answer wearing nothing but a ball cap and obscenely small underwear? If I walked by the carnage of cheap wigs and make-up, would he think he had a chance with me? He likely wouldn’t, have a chance I mean, and this makes me wonder some more about these images. Maybe they’re not even about appearing sexually attractive.
Maybe they’re part of a fantasy, an opportunity to express themselves in ways not normally accessible. The fact that the gaze is strictly female is also interesting to think about—for our eyes only, not the prying eyes of other men. Maybe it’s about having the freedom to represent themselves however they like. I also think it’s just good old-fashioned male confidence: this is ME, love it or leave it!
Lists to Lust After: Top 2-10
2. The Traveller- Depicted in readily identifiable places (i.e., NYC, Dubai, LA, Paris), often qualified by number of countries visited, a display of countries via flag emojis, and places they’ve just returned from or hope to get to in the future. The Game of Thrones chair features large. These chairs are found in just five locations throughout the world: Brasil, Canada, Sweden, Spain, and the UK. I think it’s super ugly and cheap looking, but it’s a fav. among the male travelling types on Bumble.
3. The Active Guy- Zip-lining, competition photos while running or biking, much athletic wear.
4. The Nice Guy- Sweet, small smile that often involves a tilt to the head and maybe an old person.
5. The Snuggly Guy- Pictured having fun with dogs and kids, cats less so.
6. The Serious Guy- More common than you might think. Imagine: Blue steel. Take me seriously because I take myself seriously and don’t forget, I’m taking a serious picture of myself.
7. The Wild Guy- Frequently seen drinking booze, in Mexico or another beach-oriented spot. He’s often emitting open-mouthed screams while wearing ball caps and shades.
8. The Eyebrow Guy- Also more common than you would think. It’s basically serious guy with one raised eyebrow and a snarly, sneaky mouth that says: ‘I don’t caaarreee…I’m funny.’
9. The Money Guy- This includes the many “entrepreneurs” and “venture capitalists” and they usually wear dress shirts (light purple colour tucked into non-pleated black pants) and have short slick hair, sometimes a big watch is visible. They’re often featured in a business/luxury oriented public place, maybe a vacation scene which reflects their life of leisure, money, and adventure.
10. The Daydream Guy- These ones are typically lying down and seen vacationing in warm places. Many feature close-ups of their faces and the big eyes seem to tell us that they are sweet people who like romance and want affection.
Next time, I’ll take you through the rest of the list and include my reflections on a few extra special images that didn’t make the cut. What might these outlier pics say about the men who use Bumble? How do you select the pictures on your best swiping platforms?
3 comments
“Like I said, a lot of the pictures were quite bizarre and many were downright unflattering, which seemed to contradict the purpose of being on a dating app…to look semi-hot and/or get the attention of your paramour to bee.”
” If I walked by the carnage of cheap wigs and make-up, would he think he had a chance with me? He likely wouldn’t, have a chance I mean, and this makes me wonder some more about these images. Maybe they’re not even about appearing sexually attractive. ”
As a guy, I don’t even know how I would go about presenting myself in an unambiguously sexually attractive manner, except maybe if I went the gymbro route, started lifting, got a muscley body and posted a shirtless pic of myself, which most women I have talked to have informed me appears douchey and an instant left swipe. It also wouldn’t really fit my character.
The ‘serious looking guys’ you are talking about might also be trying to appear sexually attractive since they might have read the same bullshit article I have that staring intensely and stoically into the void is perceived as dominant, macho, alpha and therefore attractive.
So yes, for the whimsical guys, it’s about picking photos that showcase personality, that you know how to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously. Or for the dog lovers, that you have a soft cuddly side. Mostly, what I do is take photos when the opportunity presents itself and then pick the most salient ones, preferably also the one where I look the best.
Mostly, the guys making profiles on Bumble don’t know what you specifically find sexually attractive or what would make you specifically give them a chance. They likely just go by their gut or they listen to advice, and a lot of advice tells guys that the most important thing when picking photos is showcasing your personality, to find compatible women. AKA the kind of women who would give the carnage of cheap wigs and make-up a chance.
So what exactly is it you expect men to do for you on this dating app?
To “do for me” on this app, well I suppose I was hoping (I only used Bumble for 5 months- as per my earlier blogs) for more consistent discussion, less ghosting, and more in-person meetings. I felt like I was trying to engage in interesting, cool conversation and followed up on THEIR desires to meet as well (as written in their profiles and in our chats). Pretty basic, yet it was tough to achieve that. I found Tinder WAY more equitable and productive.